I enjoy delving into books that have been important in my personal journey of growth and awakening. Have you noticed that when you read wise words again, there is a shift in your understanding, and perhaps a new insight?
Today I picked up John Welwood’s “Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships”. The wisdom here is about understanding and accepting that we all have wounds of the heart from growing up in the world, and it shows up in our relationships as adults. When I first read this, it completely changed how I saw myself and my relationships. I really recommend this book if you are ready to explore with courage, curiosity and kindness.
These words got my attention:
If we truly felt good about ourselves, we would have no interest in wasting precious life energy resenting or attacking anyone.The urge to name others arises only out of feeling bad about ourselves, which originally developed out of not feeling truly seen or honored by other people. Self hatred is the hidden underbelly of all the violence and nastiness in the world.
‘Self hatred’ may seem like too strong a word to some…. But if you doubt, judge or criticize yourself at all, this indicates some dislike or aversion toward yourself as you are. Or if you have a hard time spending time alone, undistracted by work, phone calls, tv, computers, or other forms of busyness that pull your attention away from yourself, this also suggests that you may not like being with yourself all that much.John Welwood. “Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships. Healing the Wound of the Heart.“
Take a few moments to let these words settle. It may be difficult to see this in yourself at first, so think about someone you know who may be struggling and acting out in a nasty way. Can you get a sense their pain?
Understanding our past, and recognizing the wounds around our hearts, opens a door to true self compassion. When we fully accept and love all aspects of ourselves we begin to awaken to the love and beauty around us and in others.
This is what the world must awaken to.
It begins within each one of us. Self kindness and love is the most powerful gift to bring to the world.