Connection Inspirations Kindness middle ground Mindfulness New Perspectives Self Discovery

* Living our Values

by Val Boyko
Comments 38

woman reflecting

This post is inspired by a wonderful post from Sangeeta over at Serene Reflection.

She writes:

“Values are not what we talk about. They are how we live. They determine why we make and live the choices we eventually do. Quite often, we don’t live what we advocate. … and this causes stress.”

I would encourage you to read the whole post here.

What I came away with, is a shift in perspective about my own values. As a coach, I have done several exercises on values over the years and they tend to come back to the same themes. I know them and now take them for granted, but Sangeeta’s post made me pause and ask myself, am I truly living them?

Here are some questions to reflect on:

  • How do I spend my time and energy?
  • How do I spend my money?
  • What do I think about most?
  • What do I envision or visualize most?
  • What do I talk about most to myself?
  • What do I talk about most to others?
  • Where am I most organized or disciplined?

Now compare this to who you thought you were or would like to be, and how you would like to live. Some areas will already converge while the contrasts in other places may surprise you.

This is a good time to recognize what your real priorities are and where you are putting your energy.

Update your list of values so that it has meaning in how you are living your life right now.

Be aware that you may be judging yourself against values that you are not living up to.  If so, be kind and take time to reflect on what the next step is. It may not be time to implement changes, or it may be time to start taking actions to come into alignment.

There is no right or wrong here.  Its about becoming true to yourself.

38 comments on “* Living our Values”

  1. David Kanigan
    January 31, 2016

    How do I spend my time and energy? That is a big question. Similar to Rod MacIver’s message to me this morning (via http://makebelieveboutique.com/2016/01/31/14880/):

    A balanced life is based on its own rhythm. If you don’t set your own rhythm, and have the discipline to follow it, your life will move at the speed of the culture around us, which moves too fast. The space we make for quiet time affects our thought patterns and, in turn, the quality of our lives. If you don’t own your own time, your own life, you don’t own much.

    Thanks for another thought provoking post Val.

    Liked by 1 person

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  2. Carrie
    January 31, 2016

    Great post, Val. I find that my values are shifting as I become a more and more conscious being. These same questions might have had slightly different answers a few years ago. The more I shift into a more natural rhythm, and away from the consensus, the more my beliefs and values are aligned. Thank you for the opportunity to pause and reflect this morning. 💕

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    • Val Boyko
      January 31, 2016

      Thank you Carrie for sharing! I too notice the difference with life experience. I find I am sharing my values in conversations here in my blog, but less so with people in my life. Yesterday I met with a group of women yoga teachers and it was so wonderful to talk about what is important to us all. We found we shared similar values. 💕

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  3. vanbytheriver
    January 31, 2016

    An examination of where we put the most energy…always enlightens ! Thanks for a thoughtful post. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Paul Handover
    January 31, 2016

    Val, while I found myself nodding when reading your post it also crossed my mind that we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves when we acknowledge our failings. None of us is without weaknesses and failings and embracing others who also share their failings is precious. In two words: Integrity and empathy. Great post!

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  5. nrhatch
    January 31, 2016

    Good exercise, Val. Happiness is when what we think, what we say, and what we do are in harmony.

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. Jill Weatherholt
    January 31, 2016

    Great questions to ask ourselves, Val. Thanks! ❤

    Like

    Reply
  7. Sangeeta
    January 31, 2016

    Thank you Val 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  8. Kate @ Did That Just Happen?
    January 31, 2016

    The last couple of years I’ve started doing a pie chart of where I spend my time, and then I compare it to my list of where I want to spend my time, and it really helps me make sure I am living to the values I want to embody! Love this post as a reminder!

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  9. Healing Grief
    January 31, 2016

    When we find this balance in our life, we do feel aligned and aware. Mantra’s really help me keep focused. Great share Val.

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. socialbridge
    January 31, 2016

    Sounds like a great exercise, Val. Expect feedback in time!

    Liked by 1 person

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    • Val Boyko
      January 31, 2016

      Thank you Jean. You must have a lot to catch up on break after all that tennis watching 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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      • socialbridge
        February 1, 2016

        Oh, I’ve had a whole year to prepare for it. Tennis is the only television I watch like a maniac and that’s the Grand Slams. Definitely time well spent: I’ve weighed that up more than once!
        Now going to them would be another plan – maybe Roland Garros sometime. Wimbledon was magic.
        Middle ground in tennis is interesting – is it the net or the service line or the ‘down the middle in doubles? All have their moments … and require intense focus.

        Liked by 1 person

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        • Val Boyko
          February 1, 2016

          Thanks for sharing the Tennis passion Jean! I think of Middle Ground more in a mindful sense than a physical point ahead. Like the pause just before deciding where to place the ball on the serve, or the positioning of the return shot. That instant when we are completely present, aware and intuitively make a choice without logical thought. That is the most special place to come back to.
          💛

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  11. Tiny
    January 31, 2016

    Beautiful post, Val! Reading it I remembered that once upon a time, I taught a course at work that was called “Living Our Values” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. elizabeth2560
    February 1, 2016

    Yes, how we live … good point. Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

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  13. IreneDesign2011
    February 1, 2016

    Thank you very much for this post Val, I really needed that today 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. Zorba da Buddha
    February 1, 2016

    Great post, just started two years ago try to be aware every day every moment. And the judging yourself part is key. Try to love yourself always, no matter what you did. How, just start by not judging yourself and accepting yourself. I still have to remind myself everyday. Great blog Val, thanks from bringing some awareness into this world.

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  16. Sue Dreamwalker
    February 1, 2016

    I think we can all take away with us something from this post dear Val.. and yes I too have been in the process of re-evaluating 🙂 and looking at ones own self in greater detail…Often shakes us to make adjustments in our lives..
    Wonderful share and I will go along to read in full 🙂
    Many thanks and have a wonderful week ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. Carol Ferenc
    February 2, 2016

    There is a lot to think about here, Val. Thanks for opening my eyes with your wisdom.

    Liked by 1 person

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